So as I was getting ready to change and go out with my big bro my sister points out my fat. After that I could not find anything that I felt looked good which is the worst feeling in the world. I kept dwelling on it and the disease only grew until I decided I wasn’t going out anymore.
I have been struggling with my weight for years as it fluctuates up and down. I recently lost my job at LA fitness and ever since then I have steadily been gaining weight from not having a free gym membership. I would go to the gym about 3-5 times a week! And now I hardly exercise at all, and I can’t afford to even get a gym membership.
As if not being active wasn’t enough I live at home where my mom constantly buys junk food and I am tempted until the point where I give up! It makes me so angry that I do my best all day to eat healthy and right when I get home there’s a pizza on the table. What’s also frustrating is that I know if I were to live on my own I would be a lot healthier. Well all I can do is try to do some home work outs and run around my neighborhood. We’ll see how that works out…
So this is going to be my first actual blog entry that is my own that hasn’t been pictures. Putting my life out there for others to possibly read is scary but I figure some people might be going through the same things as I am and feeling the way that I do.
I’m currently 19 and go to Cal Poly Pomona as a Business MHR major. I am in Kappa Delta Sorority and spend a lot of my time going out with friends, partying, working out, and enjoying life. Although that’s not all I do, I also have two jobs that take up a good amount of time along with studying.I like to think “Adventure is out there!” and I’m determined to find it.
Lately I haven’t been enjoying my classes and that’s just an understatement. I feel like I should like going to class and listening to my professors talk about the profession I am preparing for but unfortunately I just want to fall asleep in each class… So I wrote down some questions in the back of my notebook: “What am I going to do with my life?” “What do I like to do?” “What am I good at?” “Where would I like to work?” “Who would I work for?” “How much money do I want to make?” “Where do I want to live?” “What do I want?” So far I’ve only answered the last question.
I know I want to travel, meet new people, experience new things, learn about other states and countries, and most importantly help people.
Being 19 almost 20 is kinda scary because it’s the time when all my friends are already going for what they want and the path to the rest of their lives. I’m still trying to figure out exactly what my path is…
One thing I know for sure is that I don’t want to end up like most people who don’t have the opportunities to do what they want and who flat out just aren’t happy with their lives. I’m in the works of making a dream board to visualize what I want to experience in my life and what I want to accomplish. When I finish I’ll post a picture.
Currently at the moment what is stressing me out is work. I got a call saying that my department was going to be dismissed but they might keep me at the front desk if my schedule allows it. So fingers crossed! Also our formal for Kappa Delta is in a month and I have no idea who I am going to take. The only person I have asked is Jimmy Tatro from youtube. Not sure if he’s actually gotten any of my tweets but hey a girl can dream…